Archive for December 2011

Short Update: Essensual Bugis Hair Promotion


Hello Fire Tits,

How had your week been?

Christmas and CNY are coming soon?

Planned on how to spend your holidays yet?

Well for me, I will be busy earning $$$ during these holiday season.

Fuck Holidays, $$$ is more important than anything else.

Anyway I wanna do a short update on my recent trip to Essensual Bugis.

If you guys had been stalking my blog ( since early this year when I just started ), you must had known that Essensual Bugis had been my official sponsor for hair and ( well I can say ) I’m a proud walking advertisement for them.

I just felt so blessed being one of their sponsored blogger ( even though we had our difference before – be it friends, conflicts etc ).

It’s really like a creativity type of blessed that someone could truly understand what I “want”.

I felt that I’m sort of like a pioneer ( and also a guinea pig ) in experimenting different hair colours.

I bare no judgements to anyone’s choice of hair.

Recently, I just felt sort of “robbed” that whatever hair colour/hair cuts I have chosen ( and tried ), some motherfucker will go and copy it and make it seems theirs ( when I’ve already done it ), without CREDITING me !!!

* chill * * chill * * chill *

( The feeling is like ) For example,

You are the one who started the trend ( in your school ) of wearing wristbands, suddenly some fugly bitch saw it and also wore wristbands to school and did the “ Check out my wristband !!! Chio or not ??? “ IN YOUR FACE !!! How would you feel ?

Guilty conscious after reading this ???

GOOD !!! That’s exactly what I’ve wanted you to feel >;)

Grudges aside,
I went to Essensual Bugis ( a few days ) ago and had my hair colour changed.

I was really bored of my natural black ( and boring ) hair.

I’ve no choice because I’m growing my hair ( because my hair is FUCKED UP after my platinum blonde ) and I’m doing my internship ( which means no LOUD hair colours ).

So I asked Bryan to “ cocktail “ for me a special shade of Ash Brown.

Brown hair colour is so common but I wanted something lighter and more towards the “warm tone”.

Therefore after a few hours of bleaching and reapplying of hair toners,

Bryan had came up with this:

I loved my new hair colour.

It’s very “milk-ish” shade of brown with a light touch of Ash.

It’s just feel so AWESOME walking out a salon , people staring at your hair colour, and  complimenting it.

It’s like an orgasm to my ears and self-esteem.

Anyway Bryan gave me his new range of Wella Professional’s hair spray to try and review on it

It’s called the Wella Professional Super Set Finish.

After a few usage, it’s seriously not bad.

I love it that it smells good because all the fucking hairsprays ( that I’ve used before ) had a strong stench of aerosol.

I love it that it gives me a strong holding power and resistance to rain ( yes RAIN, it’s December season y'all ).

( If you had known ) I’m a religious believer in generously spraying your hair spray.

Eventually the consequences of spraying too much of hair spray would be having to deal with dry hair ends ( due to product build- up ).

So this hair spray came in handy because it’s damn easy to WASH OFF.

Not bad. I’m giving my Eric Lim stamp of approval.

So if you’re interested in purchasing it ( or any other Wella Professional range of products ),

Essensual Bugis is having PROMOTION:


AWESOME MUCH ??? \(^.^)/

So head down to Essensual Bugis now to check out their products, or you can spam their formspring.

I’ve come to the end of my short update ( at least it’s JUICY ) right ???

Alright fucktards.

Love you and miss you *shake booty * <3

Signing Off
Eric Lim
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Good Morning Bloggermizer,

What a beautiful Tuesday morning !!!

( Just to let you know ) I’m battling bad sore throat while I’m typing out my #ZoukOut2011 blogpost.

Someone should just come out with a miracle sore throat pills, so I could pop a few and it will magically be cured ( within a few minute). I have a very sensitive throat.

The worst part is I love to eat peanuts, potato chips and chocolate, which is SO NOT throat friendly. I hate sore throat is because it would take forever to cure and when it worsens it will lead to fever and flu ( which is damn FUCKED UP ).

I hate to fall sick. My paranoid thinking will always lead me to think that I’ve contracted some terminally ill disease and sooner I will cough out blood ( like those HK drama LOL !!! ).

Anyway bullshit aside ( here’s the real deal baby ),

I’m here to blog about my #ZoukOut2011 experience last weekend.

Since Miyake and Yutaki aren't in Singapore, the most eligible candidate to accompany me to #ZoukOut2011 is … YAN KAY KAY xiao jie , or should I named her as #MsDaiJaBu ( she fucking loves that word , it’s literally like “hello” to her LOL !!! ).

A month back, #MsDaiJaBu asked me whether am I interested to go for #ZoukOut2011.

Without hesitation, I’m like “FUCK YEAH”.

I don’t know how this might sound, you could call me a nerd, a fucktard etc ( I don't care ).

Because … I never once been to a #ZoukOut event.
So it’s my first time going to a #ZoukOut event and I’m all excited for it.

( Seriously I could officially induct myself to be a Zouk Queen of Chios because I’ve been supporting and patronizing Zouk VERY FREQUENTLY lately. They could totally give me a timesheet, punch card machine and I’m ready to report to Zouk. LOL !!! )

( Fast-forward to the actual night of #ZoukOut2011 ) #MsDaiJaBu was telling me that she got me a ticket but I need to be there at 8pm.

But seriously, who ( with a right mind ) goes to ZoukOut that early? Not me.

As a standing member of Zouk’s Queen Of Chios ( * uncomfortable cough * ), the most happening time for Zouk would be around 11pm-12midnight. Furthermore, I’m not going to #ZoukOut2011 ALONE at 8pm.

What am I suppose to do at 8pm? Clean the toilet ? Pack the ghetto plastic cups ?

So I told #MsDaiJaBu to ask the Zouk Marketing Exec, Sofie ( #ShoutOut to my girl Sofie, she worked her ASS OFF for Zouk ) whether I could top up or change the ticket to a later timing. Sofie said it’s ok to do so.

Then, I went to meet up with #MsDaiJaBu and her friends at around 11pm and set out to Siloso beach.

If you are a ZoukOut virgin ( like me ), you could never believe how unbelievable the traffic going in to Silosa Beach was.

We were caught in the traffic ( just by going in ) for almost 45 mins !!!

It SUCKS and my ZoukOut eyes were eye-flipping everyone off and swearing.

To ease my anxiety, I took out my camera and took some chio photos of myself.

Here are the photos :

Around 12midnight, we FINALLY reach Siloso Beach.

While walking in, I saw this very pretty girl ( wearing a leopard print bathrobe, Ray Bun sunglasses and standing on super high stilettos ) smoking at one corner.

My mind was telling me “ this girl is super familiar , it could be …. …. “

Holy fuckball !!! It was MAKIYO !!!

It’s my second time meeting her. The last time I met her was because of THIS.

So I walked forward and said hi to her ( because I was very excited to see her ).

( With her famous Makiyo baby voice ) She said “ You are the blogger Eric right ? ( in mandarin )”.

I was thrilled because she REMEMBERED ME !!!

We exchanged conversation ( for around 10 mins ). And I was introduced #MsDaiJaBu to her ( f.y.i KayKay was supposed to turn up for the meet up with Makiyo, but she canceled last minute because she got family matters to attend to ).

Here’s a group photo with Makiyo and KayKay.  

Before all the photoshop, I look damn fucked up in this group photo with Makiyo and KayKay.

"Thank God" for learning photoshop, I managed to re-assemble my face. *phew*

Well one group photo is never enough.

Who could resist Makiyo and her Makiyo-ness?

So I snapped a few more pictures with her.

And also "Thank God" for learning photoshop, I managed to make her erm … less SLEEPY looking.

Then, #MsDaiJaBu and I headed to make our royal appearance at #Zoukout2011.

We really sashayed our ass in and my heart was pumping/screaming in anxiety.

Because KayKay had the VIP ticket and I had the 8pm ticket, our queue ( for entry ) was different. I was ready to pay the extra few bucks to change my ticket.

To my horror, I was being REJECTED FOR ENTRY.

#Zoukout2011 staffs told me that what I’m holding was a COMPLIMENTARY TICKET which allow me to enter ( latest by ) 8PM.


I re-confirmed with Sofie, ( she didn’t knew it was complimentary ) and apologized for replying me that we could top-up for entry.

I have no choice but to buy myself a $98 ( actual day price ) #ZoukOut 2011 ticket !!!

Since I’m already at Siloso Beach, I couldn’t like “Bye bitches, I’m going home”.

However, the $98 was like a dagger in my pussy. ( Still ) The $98 was a must spend.

When I thought I had enough humiliation, I need to walk a SEPARATE route ( for people holding $98,$88,$78 tickets only) !!!

I felt like a fucking illegal immigrant and walking in SHAME.

The separate route was filled with angry party-goers ( 80% are cheap-skate ang mohs and middle-easterns. I swear ).

( If I knew better ) I would have bought myself a VIP ticket and save my ass from this form of demoralization.

The worst part is, the ang mohs ( infront of me ) were perspiring and had stench of fisces.

Oh my god, my heart was screaming and crying.

It’s worst than smelling the toilets in Chinatown.

And I was stucked in the separate route ( before the official entry ) for ALMOST AN HOUR.

I feel like I’m fangirl queuing to see fucking F4 or something.

Finally ( around 1pm ), I managed to enter #Zoukout2011 ( with my nose still intact * phew * ).

Here's a photo with KayKay ( at the entrance ) :


Poor KayKay and gang were waiting for me.

I felt super embarrassed and paiseh.

Therefore, I went to buy drinks to compensate for the wait.

What happen when you wanna go get yourself a drink?

Yes Thank You. A Fucking Long Queue ( AGAIN ) !!!

The worst part is I need to queue JUST TO PURCHASE DRINK COUPONS ( like I’m in a fucking secondary school Teacher’s Day funfair or something ), so that I could exchange for my cups of beer/vodka redbulls.

( By then ) My perspirations were trickling down like a heavy downpour.

It’s like someone had put prop tubes on my ears and snickering and pumping out water. Half way through the queue, I’m really a puddle in a hat.

Finally, I got myself those drink coupons ( after squeezing and cutting my way in ).

All I can tell you is, those drunk and aggressive ang mohs ain’t fucking around with you.

When they wanna get their drink coupons, they fucking MEANT IT !!!

I couldn’t tell you how many times they had elbow-ed me in the face.


Then I head over to the Singtel booth to look for June because her client ( Singtel ) was the official sponsor for the event.

She had complimentary beers and we were half drunk by 2 AM.

Here's photos of June and group photos with her friends :

We hide in the Singtel booth for awhile because it was extremely crowded everywhere.

Seriously ( if ever ) Osama Bin Laden wanna wipe out the younger generations of Singapore, he should totally consider coming to Zoukout.

It was packed with 28 000 people. Can you believe it?

No wonder, Zouk can be the longest running nightclub in Singapore ( Ministry Of Sound is not even near Zouk’s anus hair ).

Let me do the calculation ...  28 000 X $98 ? * oh shit *

$2.744 Million !!! * unbelievable *


Well overall, it’s a unforgettable experience going to an outdoor party.

I enjoyed myself ( not as super enjoyable like I imagined it to be ), but still it’s an experience.

We went home at around 6AM in the morning.

We were unbelievable drunk.

( By then ) Our legs were aching, voices were raspy and our bodies were aching.

I really don’t know how some people could still dance at 8 AM in the morning.

Hello, is your blood make from black tar heroine? Why still so high?

There were puddle of vomits everywhere ( and it STINKS ) and they could still dance like as if their nose were magically blocked.

Oh yah, I forgot to mention about this.

It’s extremely DIFFICULT to get a cab in Sentosa.

Luckily ( prior to #ZoukOut2011 ), KayKay’s friend Kanny booked a limosine to fetch us back.

Or else I gonna stuck in the taxi queue forever.

It’s really a cab-choose-customer situation.

Just imagine a few thousand people queueing for 10-20 cabs.

They were going after the cabs like the zombies in Resident Evil.

It’s C.R.A.Z.Y !!!

Well ... I’ve asked myself whether I will still go to any future outdoor parties?

The answer is … NO !!! HELL NO !!!

I still preferred my indoor ( AIR CONDITIONED ) clubs with nice modern interiors.

Before I sign off, here's a final photo with me and KayKay: 

Signing Off
Eric Lim
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My Cousin's Wedding


Good Morning to all my blogger-tron ( * sounds Transformer-ish * ),

I know I know. I hadn’t had any pictorial update for the longest time.

Well not to worry.

This post is filled with my chio face ( * uncomfortable cough * ) and fabulous people in my life. ( * Shake Neh Neh * )

How had your weekend been?

It had been a long week for me.

Firstly I broke off with #TheRightOne which supposingly should be my “Date Of The Year”.

Well let’s just say we had character differences.

It SUCKS ( * I swear it do * ) !!!

I really really thought that #TheRightOne and I could progress further and my dream of settling down in a monogamous relationship could come true.

Well it seems like my hope had crashed and I’m totally on the rebound. ( * fingers cross * ).

Anyway negativity aside,

This weekend is jam-packed with my cousin’s wedding and Zoukout 2011.

Let’s kick things off with my cousin’s wedding, shall we?

Ok a few months ago, my mum was informing me that my cousin and her fiancé were getting married ( * like finally * ).

They had been together for almost a decade. ( * that’s the monogamous relationship that I wish to have * ).

I was really happy for her ( even though we are not as close as before due to some conflicts that me and one of her family member had years back ) but I find that it would be nice for me to turn up for her wedding and ( genuinely ) congratulate her.

My mum was like a freaking egg timer.

She kept reminding to turn up for her wedding like a million times.

I know I know Mummy Dearest.

My mum is so cute ( I tell you ).

( As a traditional Teochew ) My mum kept reminding me not to wear “ anything black “ to my cousin’s wedding.

Because in the Traditional Teochew cultural ( or I could named as “ My Mum Bullshit Theory” ), it’s “ unlucky” to turn up in “ anything black “.

Seriously, I find that ( our ) Chinese culture have something against the colour “black”.

It’s not like I’m gonna turn up in a full funeral regale and outcast myself to everyone who is dressed in “happy” colours.

But well since my mum set the bar ( strictly ), me ( as her son ) could not forbid the rules and just had to turn up in my most “Glamourous- but-Wedding-Friendly-outfit”

This is my second wedding invitation.

I’m literally hoarding wedding invites.

Ok I’m saying this as someone who just broke off with my eligible date ( and filled with jealousy ) ,

Wedding dinners are just an act/ a season finale put up for everyone to remind them that “ Hey, I’ve found my happily ever after , when the fuck are yours gonna happen ?”

That’s just my opinon towards wedding dinner and it only applies to single individuals going to the dinner ( like yours truly, me ).

If ever I wanna get married, it would just be a simple solemnization ceremony and I would whisked off with my partner to travel around the world.

OKOK fine, I shall not pour my sorrow onto my cousin’s wedding.

No matter what she’s my cousin and I should give her my full blessing.


To my disbelief, the wedding dinner turned out to be a wedding brunch.

The wedding brunch ( name changed ) started at 12 noon and we had to report there earlier for the solemnization to take place.

My mum woke up at 6AM to go to Fullerton Hotel and had her ( or I shall named it ) “Wedding Tea of Respect”.

We are supposed to be there at 11 plus in the morning but my mum bombed our cellphones with wake up calls.

Therefore, I woke up at around 8am to get prepared and doll up ( but that Saturday supposed to be my OFF DAY !!! ).

I really dragged myself to the shower and get my hair and make up done.

Ok enough of my grandmother whining,

I’ve got photos of me and my family attending my cousin’s wedding:

Check out my SUPER GIANORMOUS photos !!!

It’s so big and attention grabbing, right ??? Woohoo ~ ~ ~ ( * slut dancing * )

Another reason why I did not update my pictures ( for so long ) is because I valued the importance of the art of photoshopping and took time to edit every single photos with love and a mind of style. ( * future picaso talking * )


I just wanna buy you to love me more because I feel that I’m damn hardworking.

I spent my Sunday ( while drunk and hangover ) to edit all these motherfucking photos.

I’m fishing for a compliment, so give it to me now motherfuckers !!!

I have shitloads of camwhoring photos of myself in the cab ( bare with me ok ).

Prior to my cousin’s wedding, my sis ( finally ) took time to do her nails and I posted this photo of her beloved nails because I choose the colour for her.

It’s super purplish and annoyingly glitterish.

But I still love the colour  ( * flips invisble fringe * )

I couldn’t come up with a better excuse for posting 5 photos of me in different camera angles but with the same fucking face ( above ).

Ok Ok I’m KIASU PU BOR KIA can !!!

But I think that I look very fuckable and very yummy ( ok wadeva bitch just let me live in denial for a few minutes because I just broke off with #TheRightOne and I need compliments to resuscitate my confidence ).

Congratulations, you just improve your sense of sight by LOOKING AT MY FACE !!! >;)

OkOk I shall stop self-whoring. LOL !!!

Check out my SOCKS !!!

It’s from TOPSHOP.

I bought it in the Ion Topshop outlet for ONLY $9 !!!

This is like the only nice design left.

The rest ( of the socks available ) are just FUGLY. ( Sorry Topshop, you better up your variety of designs before H&M bites you in the ass ).

My super cute SISTER !!!

Say Hi to ZELENE !!!

I think she look very fabulous and VERY purplish ( because she wore a purple dress, carried a purple bag and had purple nails on ).

I help her to draw her friendly eyebrows too !!! ( #SisterLove ) \( ^.^ )/


While in the cab, my sis couldn’t remember whether my cousin’s wedding brunch is taking place in The Fullerton Hotel or in The Fullerton BAY Hotel ( what’s your fucking problem Fullerton Group ??? Why don’t you build a Fullerton Empire in the future ? ).

So we were panicking and praying that we went to the right Fullerton. FOL !!!

Well luckily, we were at the right Fullerton and on time for the solemnization ceremony.

Yes I know. Who could resist the beautiful ambience of The Fullerton Hotel suite ( and my cousin booked a suite for her pre-wedding preparation )?

So … I went CAMWHORING ( well only in the hotel toilet and places that are out of sight because all my relatives are present and they will gossip *ALOT* ) !!!

Here’s a photo of my MUM and my SISTER !!! #FamilyPortrait

My mum was complaining to me that I posted fugly photos of her on the internet because I blogged about THIS.

Here’s a chio photo of you, Madam Yeo !!! ( can you believe it, my mum is 51 years YOUNG ).

Here’s a photo of my outfit for the wedding brunch.

\( ^.^ )/ “ I’m SEXY and I KNOW IT “ * wriggle* *wriggle* *wriggle*

Pardon my boring hair colour. I’m waiting for my internship to be over so that I could dye something more appropriate ( appropriate meaning LOUD and IRRITATING ).

Ok here’s a photo of the wedding gift that was placed in the wedding table for all the guests.

It’s from MOLTON BROWN !!!

Well if you hadn’t heard of it, MOLTON BROWN is a luxury brand that specialists in body-care products. ( * shit I’m promoting for them unknowingly * )

My mum embarrassing told us to keep it in our bags ( once we settled down on our allocated seats ), as if someone would just come over and robbed our MOLTON BROWN bags of shower gel and body lotion DELUXES ( 30 ml each ) and run away.

Pardon my mum.

My mum just thinks that it would come in handy when we go swimming ( but the problem is my mum don’t swim at all and the last time we went swimming together as a family is in 1997 ).

So I tickled my mum and call her out for a “cosmetic products confrontation”.

I admit I’m a SUCKER for beauty products. You named whatever beauty brand possible, it’s either I tried it, I heard of it, I read about it or I BOUGHT IT.

And my mum is like a hoarder for beauty products.

She likes to collect and keep them in the refrigerator WITHOUT EVEN USING IT.

And the worst part 90% of her beauty products are from ME.

So I’m like her supplier for luxury beauty products.

I reminded her that “ Mummy, you still got a lot of cosmetics products horh ? “.

My mum went to the full silence of guilt and tried to change the topic of confrontation.

Well I can sense that she's embarrased, so I just STFU eventually.
I just love to poke fun of her but I still love her ALOT though.

Because she’s someone that thinks that she isn’t funny but she’s actually VERY FUNNY.

Eventually, we kept the MOLTON BROWN body lotion and shower gels in her bag.

Till these day, I don’t know where my fucking MOLTON BROWN products went.

Yes don’t tell me, I know where is it !!!


The wedding ended at around 4PM and I must say the food served were very delicious.

*Kudos* to my cousin for choosing all the dishes to be served.

I like it because it's VERY TEOCHEW and it's VERY COOKED.

I can't stand those wedding dishes that had weird ang moh dishes or super un-appetizing japanese food.

It's like telling the guest that " I'm very modern and you had to swallow down my modern-ness".

Ohh FUCK OFF bitch!!!

I love my yummy traditional dishes and I will go on a riot for it.


You guys must be wondering why I did not update photos of my cousin and her fiancé.

Well because I don’t think she wants to be in the public eye and I’m not VERYYYYY CLOSE to her.

Furthermore, my blog has a stench of inappropriate-ness and borderline controversial.

You might even get nervous cramps from reading my blog ( and I love you guys more and more for supporting me ).

Ok I shall end my blogpost here.


( I’m thrilled to get my blogging stamina back, but I still very heartbroken. Wish me luck people )

Signing Off’
Eric Lim
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